Ust Anis matta ever talked about a man. A student of a university in Depok. He's a smart man (ikhwan), comes from a rich family, studied in medical faculty, and he's indeed a good man, rich, polite and religious. A man of most women's dream. He was willing to get married, so he asked Ust anis to find him a woman. As usual, Ust anis asked that man to tell him about his criteria for the woman, so it'll be easier for ust to find a woman who meets his criteria. Here is the conversation:
Ust Anis: "what are the ideal criteria that you want?"
Man in Pursuit (hereafter will be called 'MP'): "that woman must be smart"
Ust Anis thought -Ooh..okay..that's normal, a smart man like him, certainly wants typical woman for him-
MP: "this woman would be better if she has similar background as mine"
maybe, in the case of economic, education background, and so on..
Ust Anis thought - hmm..fair enough..he's just trying to find someone who's in the same level as him-
MP: "I thought I also expect her face.."
Ust Anis - well, I thought that would be appropriate, this man is also good looking, no wonder he expects so..
then..
MP: "I hope the woman has a good manner, a good understanding on Islamic stuffs, she must be active in dakwah"
and there are some specific criteria that this man mentioned:
firstly,
she must love her father.
Ust Anis concluded that this man needs a kind woman and also care for others..
and the surprising last criteria is..
SHE BETTER BE A SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD WOMAN..
so, seriously Ust told him>"akhy, If only I find this woman, I thought I wouldn't give her to you..
I will take her for me in the first place..!"
MP asked.."why?"
Ust: "Antum is asking me to use most of my time to search for a very rare thing..!" he continued.."Why? because..,
it's okay if we try to find a woman with the earlier conditions, no problem,
but to find a seventeen years old woman with a good manner is almost impossible.
why?
because with the condition nowadays, the situation in the surroundings, in average, women presently, just know the real Islam and understand it well right when they enter the higher education..!
which means, they are already over 20..and IF they follow the program well, her islamic manner will be well formed after three years Islamic education (tarbiyah).
Moreover, some other problems come up, right after they have the appropriate manner, it's not certain that they will be ready to get married..!
secondly,
IF ONLY the woman's ready to get married, I can't make sure that she's willing to marry you..!"
This is one of the examples of a man who doesn't have a clear self-concept. He expects the perfect spouse candidate, that is, an ideal woman, but not an appropriate woman for himself.
what we need is not a perfect one. We need someone who can make us complete, who fits into the frame of our personality.
Not all grown-up and serious men need serious and grown-up women beside them, a fully serious man might even expect a really childish woman, not for any reasons but to complete him.
Not all handsome, good looking men need beautiful perfect women to squire every single step for the rest of their life, a man might be hoping for someone who's not really good physically, but she can appreciate beauty, that the man would be so much grateful for her appreciation towards him..
hmm..in the end..it's our concept of life and self consciousness would result the exact and the right criteria of spouse that we need and want.
It's all back to you...I Hope all of us would find the one who would complete our puzzle of life.. that's what makes this life more beautiful.. ^_^
whoaa tell me more...!
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