hag..hag..hag..
From all the bad attitudes I have, ignorance is one of the hardest points for me to eliminate.
Lately, I lost one of my staffs in the division where I lead and take the role as manager. He was quiet close to me. We often shared about many things, discussed and exchanged some information.
Our board of management decided to move him to another division two weeks ago. We both were sad, indeed. But, what could we do? what could I do? it has been decided and the condition forced us to accept that, and the most important thing is, we know and we believe that we move and stay at one place not because we want it as we wish, but our highest leader determined it based on the situation and condition in the field. Which section needs us most, that's where we belong.
Now, it's been two weeks. We really lost contact. I don't try to contact him, and neither does he. No more discussion. Sometimes I feel sad, yeah..seems like something's lost. But, however, we must move on, keep focus on what we're working on, give the best,
I believe we have a strong reason to work wherever we are placed, no matter whoever beside us, as long as fi sabilillah, (amien).
ha! that's why, hmm..as time passes by, my ignorance comes into existence. For me, whoever goes out of my life, I would let him/her go, he/she could go anywhere and I don't care, I would gladly leave him/her alone, not even ask for his/her condition or maybe just say hello I won't. My ignorance let those people who leave can live their own way, I don't care.
This is bad I know. Hehe..
Before this one happened, there was one of my friends too, who decided to resign from our division. She was our manager, the manager before me. We were so closed, I have considered her as my own verily sister. She suddenly told me that she wants to quit from our organization, even from our jamaah, with one reason I can't tell. We were so sad, indeed. But what could I do, I tried to talk to her, but it seemed like she had made her own decision and fixed it, unchangeable.
There we were apart. No more contact. My ignorance, somehow my heart said, if only I tried harder to pull her again, maybe she would come back. But, what could I do, it's almost late I thought. My ignorance won't let me do that, I don't care, that's why.
Several times, I lost my sisters, new girls I just knew and happened to be my mentee. Some of them were gone, they were absent from the very beginning, I didn't try to find them. My ignorance, I don't care.
For me, those people who leave or who are forced to leave me, I'll let them go. I'll let them live their life and I don't care. I wouldn't even ask how they are doing.
My Ignorance, one point I want to diminish and terminate.
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..I remembered a psychological test (not a formal one, amateur-made) given by
it has nothing to do with me..so, I think I would just leave it!" I said..
okay. Then, If on your way through the jungle, You see a lion.. what would you do?" She asked me again..
..Of course I would get prepared!" I said it bravely..
" ....
"I see.. ! you decide to get out of the hut, take a little walk, and finally see a lake with some fresh water.. what would you do with it?"
maybe.. I'd play a bit and drink a little.."
now, do you want to know the result?" she asked again 
" I was surprised, "Is that true?" I asked,
"it can't be true!" I denied, hhh... but deep down, I knew that could be true
I relieved
hh..I'm just so sad
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