Beautifulife

Not to imitate one of many popular statements of one of some popular presidents of America.
Just lately my will to renew and reformat my life has been accumulating that I feel something's gonna explode off my mind.
Those things spread in my head just seem to be hardly manageable that I don't know where to start.
Write, write, and write. I think I've known the best solution.
One ever said "We actually indeed know what we have to do to make all things better, we just never start to start"
yeah..yeah.. once more,to answer the question "how to start" is as difficult as to answer the question "why don't you just start?"
hahaha..it's just some noise..
so now what?
well..
start now then!
Change?
Of course I can! whoaa tell me more...!

Reviewing my life, it's been 23 years 9 months, 17 days, more or less...yeah..this life has gone through that long time

this week i have received two news of people passing away. I'm not sad, those of people i don't know..it's just i imagine that one of those persons could have been me

however, I miss You..my Lord

photo from: http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-222740-falling-leaves.php

idealism,
dreams,
expectations,
disappointment,
wish,
wait,
hope,
man,
future,
choose,
decide, etc.
Whooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I just wanna screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.....!!! whoaa tell me more...!

serenity is very crucial. In serenity we can find ourselves, in serenity we can see everything clearly.
lately, I have found out many things that used to bother me a lot. I couldn't find out why there were so much crowded in my head. confusion, panic, they all made it worse. then in serenity, clarity can be gained.
the freedom is all about your perception. many people are so closed with what is called 'change'. we, then, create our own mental block. If we ask ourselves, what makes us fearful, then we should find the answer, that our fear, is ourselves.
what makes you maintain someone, what makes you think that no other people better, what makes you think that one is the best.. whoaa tell me more...!

I just feel that this week is the happiest moment ever. I've never thought that after finishing the final paper I would be this relief . Now that I have the time to think about many offers for my future. I have some options actually.
First, I'm thinking to continue my study to Master degree. However, I can't hide my wish to study at University again. Oh, I just love studying! But still, there are some options about that. Maybe I can take the scholarship program from the government of Japan. I've done some small research lately, seeing the chance to get the scholarship as general applicant almost make me frustrated. The government of Japan has made a coordination with the Indonesian's. Unfortunately, our government claims some requirements to get the scholarship, one of them is the applicant must be one of the civil servant. surely this first requirement is difficult for me since I'm not!!but Maybe I will be...oneday..
another choice is to apply for the scholarship provided by the government of USA, Aussie, or England, and many others. But, remembering there is such a -not good- 'relationship' with the Muslims, those countries just become my next consideration.

Recently, the company where I've been an apprentice offered me to be their permanent staff. By that, I should stand by at the office from 8.00 to 15.00. Well, it's a good opportunity I thought. I might get about 800 thousand to A million.. I cant deny that I'm desperately needing the money! It's been a year that I haven't bought any books!! how terrible..!

another option is that I stay here, as the cyber operator. It belongs to my family.

Many things ahead, I have to reach the best!
Owh, and one more thing. I'll be attending the graduation ceremony on February 2010 Hooaaaah...I'm so happyyyy...................!!! whoaa tell me more...!

don't ever give up
coz this life is only once
so don't waste this one

don't ever feel weak
just make yourself the source of energy for the people around you
feel the passion to fight
breathe the spirit to be better

just make yourself
be the inspiration
for the people to create
more never ending fights..! whoaa tell me more...!

We, the young people :) are planning some kind business movement. My friends and I. We are all very inexperienced about this, but we have intentions, vision and idea about the future, that's what I like when we gather to hold a meeting. All are so enthusiastic, we know we don't have the money to start, but, we are still focussing on what we're gonna do and why we do this. A kind of preparation if oneday we're successful with this thing we won't lose control and forget our very first purpose :P, excessive optimism? I thought that's good..! So serious that we spent the whole hours of a meeting just to decide two lines of visions. hmm...what should I call this group of young and energic people..? umm... whoaa tell me more...!

It's been a year already! Our family has opened a cyber using a room which used to be our garage. since then, every day and night our house is full of noise. hmm...I've lost my quiet moment in this house :(

However, I was so glad thinking that we were going to open a cyber, remembering I really need the internet to browse materials for my thesis and others.. so every night, I keep.. online..online..online..online.. *saykoji mode on :P

But lately I realized, this cyber is infact not only for browsing, but also for online game. Deep down, and actually, to be honest and frankly I say: I do not agree..!!

I remember, I've ever watched a talkshow on tv. Talking about a kid, in philipine or...err..Thailand..?? I forgot!! the point is, that kid killed/shot a pedicab worker just because he was imagining himself as one of characters he always played in one of online games. That's horrible! I meant, that's the worst effect of too much playing online games!

The main speaker in the talkshow said, some games, which involve the player to do hunting, shooting each other, will implicitly and slowly form a mental impression in the players' mind. And the worst is, the player will bring his imagination into reality. He wants to act and feel like what he feels everytime he takes the role in the games. So, every parent must watched what games their kids usually play, prevent the war games or any games that may emerge the instinct to kill..hmm..

Back then I started to think, what could a game like 'ayo dance' do to the players' mental..?? hmm.. can you imagine..? whoaa tell me more...!

I'm looking for the perfect way to prove a love. I just couldn't understand how Imam Malik could spend his day with 60 times finishing reciting Quran. But then I found out, "Oo..that's the power of love..!!" I exclaimed to myself. Though I still can't find the logical way to imitate him, he had memorized the whole content of Quran, that would help much I thought! But me?? Hmm... what could I expect, I haven't even finishied the 3 juz of it! too bad..


I was impressed by what Abu Bakr did in the night he and Rasulullah escaped Makkah. He was so careful, bearing his pain from having been bitten by a snake. He was so pale when Rasulullah finally woke up from his lap. Rasulullah was so surprised seeing his condition, but what Abu Bakr answered when Rasulullah questioned why he did that..? He just said "I was so worried that I would wake you up, ya Rasulullah.." that must be the power of love..!

what could move a non moeslem to come to a masjid and touched by the voice of azan? that must be the power of love! yes! Do you still remember? a fact that everyone of us was asked to swear to Allah, right before we were born to this world, and we swore, we promised, we also witnessed, that Allah is the only God, no God before or after Him.. do you still remember?
I guess everyone, to be honest, deep down will feel so peacefull whenever they hear the voice of Quran recited. That's the power of love.

Allah loves us, more than a mother who loves her son.
So, whatever you feel, whatever you did.. just get back to Allah..He loves you unlimitedly..




whoaa tell me more...!