Beautifulife

please answer these questions honestly..well, you can stop for a while and ask yourself and dive to the real bottom of your heart (kinda excessive I thought -_-' )...
here we go...

First, When was the last time you felt really happy?

Second, What was it, in your life, that it made you fight to get it?

that's all,.. whoaa tell me more...!

Mood/rationales:

so-so/Stay at home, see nothing but a square flat screen box

happy/ gonna see my friends in a meeting

uneasy/ thinking of my lecturer who's super busy, he gets me more dizzy with the thesis turns my eyes to grizzly

curious/ wondering what's on some of my pals' mind

enthusiastic/ involved in a team of power rangers, but we're only four, we miss the black ranger, ugh!

pissed off/ being critizied more often lately, showing how I'm having 'deflation'..aaargh..!

confused/ to let go a precious chance, but it's bad anyway, who cares..leave it alone!

jealous/ people are getting better!I must raise myself UP!!

bad/ still have a difficult homework from my teacher..last meeting was a shocking meeting, a friend of mine suddenly got angry at me,, dunno why, something wrong?? aargh.. some things are going wrong, that's life! you just have to fix it! eat up that anger!

stuck/ just dunno what to write..

say something..! whoaa tell me more...!

It feels like I've been slapped so hard.

A brother (he might read this post, anyway, thank you for 'slapping' me),
he reminded us again, as his sisters,

about how to behave as a muslimah..
about how we'd be better if not to expose ourselves with perfumes..
about how speaking firmly would keep the pride as femmes..
about how important for us to preserve the limits of relationship with the gents..

I just realized how most of us, the femmes of Islam have left these values behind..
We laugh as loud as the mouth can open up,
We smile astonishingly just to impress everyone who sees us, ignoring how some of our brothers might emerge a fanciful feelings in their hearts..

aaaaargh..!woman..woman...do you still remember? our Prophet told us, most of the hell inmates are women..

One of my brothers said.."It's okay if you try to be firm towards men..no problem if they think you're arrogant..as long as you do that on the name of preserving your pride as femmes of Islam.."

whoaa tell me more...!

Ust Anis matta ever talked about a man. A student of a university in Depok. He's a smart man (ikhwan), comes from a rich family, studied in medical faculty, and he's indeed a good man, rich, polite and religious. A man of most women's dream. He was willing to get married, so he asked Ust anis to find him a woman. As usual, Ust anis asked that man to tell him about his criteria for the woman, so it'll be easier for ust to find a woman who meets his criteria. Here is the conversation:
Ust Anis: "what are the ideal criteria that you want?"

Man in Pursuit (hereafter will be called 'MP'): "that woman must be smart"
Ust Anis thought -Ooh..okay..that's normal, a smart man like him, certainly wants typical woman for him-
MP: "this woman would be better if she has similar background as mine"
maybe, in the case of economic, education background, and so on..
Ust Anis thought - hmm..fair enough..he's just trying to find someone who's in the same level as him-
MP: "I thought I also expect her face.."
Ust Anis - well, I thought that would be appropriate, this man is also good looking, no wonder he expects so..
then..
MP: "I hope the woman has a good manner, a good understanding on Islamic stuffs, she must be active in dakwah"
and there are some specific criteria that this man mentioned:

firstly,
she must love her father.

Ust Anis concluded that this man needs a kind woman and also care for others..

and the surprising last criteria is..

SHE BETTER BE A SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD WOMAN..

so, seriously Ust told him>"akhy, If only I find this woman, I thought I wouldn't give her to you..
I will take her for me in the first place..!"
MP asked.."why?"

Ust: "Antum is asking me to use most of my time to search for a very rare thing..!" he continued.."Why? because..,
it's okay if we try to find a woman with the earlier conditions, no problem,

but to find a seventeen years old woman with a good manner is almost impossible.
why?
because with the condition nowadays, the situation in the surroundings, in average, women presently, just know the real Islam and understand it well right when they enter the higher education..!
which means, they are already over 20..and IF they follow the program well, her islamic manner will be well formed after three years Islamic education (tarbiyah).
Moreover, some other problems come up, right after they have the appropriate manner, it's not certain that they will be ready to get married..!
secondly,
IF ONLY the woman's ready to get married, I can't make sure that she's willing to marry you..!"

This is one of the examples of a man who doesn't have a clear self-concept. He expects the perfect spouse candidate, that is, an ideal woman, but not an appropriate woman for himself.

what we need is not a perfect one. We need someone who can make us complete, who fits into the frame of our personality.

Not all grown-up and serious men need serious and grown-up women beside them, a fully serious man might even expect a really childish woman, not for any reasons but to complete him.

Not all handsome, good looking men need beautiful perfect women to squire every single step for the rest of their life, a man might be hoping for someone who's not really good physically, but she can appreciate beauty, that the man would be so much grateful for her appreciation towards him..

hmm..in the end..it's our concept of life and self consciousness would result the exact and the right criteria of spouse that we need and want.

It's all back to you...I Hope all of us would find the one who would complete our puzzle of life.. that's what makes this life more beautiful.. ^_^ whoaa tell me more...!

At that night I was so angry at my friend. He forgot our appointment to have a meeting in the afternoon. So I sent him an email. Telling how we had come to his house and didn't find him there. I was so disappointed, it's been always difficult for us to set up a schedule for the meeting, so it'll be more difficult to have another schedule to replace it.

I was 'satisfied' that I had wreaked my anger by saritizing him "how could a rain of water have prevented you from coming to the appointment!" I said..

I don't know why.. at that time.., when I was so emotional, I heard my heart said, that I would feel sorry for saying that. In fact, everytime I scold him (yeah, I often do that), I always find myself as the one who misunderstands, the one who gets him wrong.

and guess how he reacted. He just said "yeah.."
that's all!

We finally met each other this morning.
I was a little calm, still I felt, I was all correct with all the indiscipline attitude he made another day..

He started to explain. Some points, such as how he had had gained some information, how he has fully attended his responsibility, the duties that we had divided for each of us in the previous meeting,

how he had (also) done the duties that should have been done by me..
hhh..This time, like all the time before,
I'm-indeed-wrong.
He took all the responsibility, that made me say to myself "wait a moment...!"
I just realized and wondered "where have I been all the time?How could I forget that!"

His small mistake for not coming yesterday had made me mad. It was a little mistake in fact.

However, he (again) reminded me for always telling him if he makes mistake, and show him the way if he's wrong,
but I thought as if it was all about me.

I feel so guilty till the moment I write this..
I'm sorry my friend..really sorry.. whoaa tell me more...!

Why must rainbow comes up after the rain? why not previously?
And how about the stars? why they must show in the darkness of a night? why not try to be friends with the sun?

The harmony of nature really plays a beautiful song in our life..

An irony of a butterfly who has to be a caterpillar before she emerges into a beautiful creature..

All ends to a point.. darkness is just a phase, a channel we must get through to finally find a light..

That's why the rainbow is always amazing..Cause Allah wants us to see an absolute beauty on the sky after the dark cloud hangs above and the rain cleans it up.

The stars bunch around the moon, just to adorn a lonely night..so whenever we see them, we would smile and say "look..!the stars are sparkling at me..!!" and we would think.."night is not always dark.." whoaa tell me more...!

sweet, bitter, salty, sour..

aaaargh..

no matter how hard you try to deny, you can't change it! that's life..!

it's just a matter of management.
management of feeling, management of thinking, management of talking
it shows us how everyone of us is a manager..

yes?
nope?
you don't agree?

well, it's just a matter of time..anyway, on another day you will find yourself cry, while your friends are laughing somewhere else..and vice versa..

what?
me?
angry?

nope.., I'm just jealous whoaa tell me more...!

I was a bit surprised when I found this note, made by one of my teachers. He wrote: "if we live for 60 years (as general people would live), how long would we spend for sleeping, studying, watching TV, and other small unnecessary things?
let's see...

sleeping for 8 hours = 8 hours/24 hours x 60 years = 20 years (can you imagine? we sleep for 20 years!)

studying at school = 8 hours/ 24 hours x 12 years = 4 years

watching TV since 10 years = 4 hours/24 hours x 50 years = 8.3 years

higher study = 4 hours/24 hours x 4 years = 0.7 years

small stuffs = 4 hours/24 hours x 60 years = 10 years

see how long our life truly is.. 60 (years of life) - 20 (years of sleeping) - 4 (years of studying) - 8.3 (years of watching TV) - 0.7 (years of higher study) - 10 (years of small stuffs) = 17 years!!

we only live for 17 years!

all of these are minimum standard that most people generally do.. you can count by yourself if you allocate some of your time for playing games and extra sleep..

well, it's all up to us for the things we do in our time..just remember guys.. it IS true..that life is so short..

make it count! whoaa tell me more...!

..............................................................................................................

well, sometimes I like to make this life I face, the people in it, and all the things involved, into allusion of a war condition.

Some people take role as soldiers (Jundi), some others are playing the role of leaders or general (Qiyadah)..

however, let's take a straight line, that, in case all of us are soldiers..
I prefer to be a sniper..with an extraordinary capability and skill especially in hitting targets in a remote space, exceeding what ordinary personnel can do.

a sniper can kill one in a glance. targets represent the achievements that I have to reach in my life.
what a sniper would do firstly?
A sniper would point his target one by one, precisely!!
That's what I have to do now. I have to determine my bullseyes, things I have to finish in time, or at least, on time..
with all the responsibilities, duties and the limited time I have, I must double or even multiple my power more than general people can do..just like a sniper, aims from a distance, in absolute accuracy, space doesn't make any difference to him, he has been trained... to be extraordinary.

a sniper is always focus with his main target. That's what makes him superior, no strings attached. He would just eliminate any obstacles which are trying to spit him out. Nothing and no one can ruin his first goal..that's it! Focus! that's what I must have done!

Works in silence. He's very cunning in camouflage. Don't need to show off..

Hmm.. you? which role you want to take? ordinary soldier, a general? or a sniper? whoaa tell me more...!

Tough doesn't merely mean you can smack down anyone in front of you.
Tough is when you can choose to do what is right when you're in absolute anger..
Tough is when you cry desperately in front of the Most Strong..
Tough is when you try to be honest to yourself no matter you will finally find out how you decay..
Tough is when you choose to leave someone for Him
Tough is when you choose to leave something because of Him
Tough is when you can give up all your hope and expectation upon Him
Tough is when you can feel the weakest of you anytime you're alone with Him
Tough is when you feel your heart totally falls into pieces and you choose to smile and go on.. and tell yourself, that Allah wants me all the best..
Tough is all about choosing..
Ya Allah..I fell.. it hurts.. whoaa tell me more...!